Why your Core Values Amount to Everything!
We learn our core values by identifying what’s most important to us.
…not moderately important or vaguely important, as these values – though they play a part, don’t lead the way. Think about all the choices that you make from day to day as a train, on the tracks of life, with your core values seated in the locomotive (the one in the front).
If the locomotive changes tracks or receives instructions to travel to another destination, the entire train will follow behind. Now, the passengers on the train (your moderately to vaguely important values) can shout to the conductor and say where they think the train should go, but how likely is it that he’ll hear from way up there? Not impossible but very unlikely.
This my friends, is why it’s so important that you get familiar with who (what) is conducting your train. Where is it that you’d like life to take you and what are the thought processes and beliefs that will get you there?
In this article I’m going to share with you the values behind my locomotion… The makings of me.
Of Utmost Importance: Aesthetics!!!
” Beauty is a form of genius – is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is one of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon. ” – Oscar Wilde
So, in preparation for writing this blog post I took a look at my core values, which I have written down from two previous exercises. I thought about my power to choose and my sense of style. I thought about friendship, honesty/communication, commitment, fairness, balance and overall well-being. But as I began to write I felt a bit of resistance. What that usually means as a creative and as a writer is that there is more for me to explore.
Therefore; I decided to invest in a third-party assessment of my core values, because maybe my perception was restricted. I was right. To my surprise (sort of) I ranked highest in what they label ‘aesthetic values’. And I quote:
“You appear to be motivated by aesthetic values. This means that you wish to surround yourself with beauty, form and balance. You have a creative, unusual way of thinking, and want the environment that you surround yourself with to be reflective of that. Without creative outlets, you will likely feel extremely stifled. If you work or live in an unattractive, dreary environment, it could probably have a very negative effect on you. You have an adventurous nature and wish to see a lot of different things in your lifetime. As a result, you are drawn to art, literature, music, and other forms of creative expression.”
I quickly realized that these results were spot on. I JUST left a stable, relatively well-paying job so that I could experience the world. There is so much of it to see! I express myself through my personal style. I never do the same thing too many times in the same way. I hate leftovers. Yes, I’m one of those people who has to have a freshly prepared meal every single day. I never take the same way home every time. I make spontaneous changes just to feel rejuvenated. Variety and exploration truly bring me joy. I LOATHE unnecessary acts of ceremony. I much rather an organic, highly spirited powwow with members of my tribe. You know… now that I think about it, I’m the only person I know that CAN’T make a decision about where to stay, eat or live if the ambiance or ‘feng shui’ is not right. Yes, I said feng shui. To be honest, I think I was Chinese in a previous life; but that’s a topic for a whole other post.
But if all this is true, then why had I not pulled this out on my own? I’ll tell you why. It’s because this is the part of me that’s been stifled. It’s the part that’s so great that both I and those around me resisted it. Not in totality, but just enough to miss my calling. I finally realize that I haven’t truly been able to succeed in life or flourish because I’d quieted my creativity in exchange for stability, order, religion and “a good job”. But I’ll tell you, this all makes perfect sense because when I finally decided to leave my “good job” it was with a type of conviction I had not felt before. The results went on to say that:
“Individuals with this value are assets in brainstorming sessions with their “outside-the-box” thinking, and on any project or problem that needs a novel and original solution. They also have an uncanny ability to see beauty in the ordinary, to move others and set fire to their imaginations, to envision the impossible and fanciful, and to put their heart and soul into every creative endeavour.”
Can I tell you how this gave me goose bumps to read? Please hear me out when I say this is my ONLY goal for this blog. To make certain that you leave knowing you are amazing… That the world is your oyster. My top value set doesn’t just serve me, but it’s a service.
Now that we’ve gone over who’s in charge (Aesthetics), let’s use another analogy to help you figure out how knowing your values is crucial. Think of your life as an organization with a board of directors. In charge is the CEO, but s/he doesn’t make any decisions without votes from the board. They almost share equal value, but each brings a skillset from a different specialty. Below I’ll introduce you to my board of directors (my top five core values based on the combined observation of this value test and my own determination).
Empathy & Altruism
Understanding is very important to me. This is because I’ve spent a great portion of my life for whatever reason, ‘til this day, being misjudged, unheard, disregarded… But with this struggle came a silver lining. As a result of knowing how that feels, my life’s mission is to ensure that I’m not the reason someone else feels this way. I take time to learn about other people’s reasons, the way I wish someone else had done for me. The best way to love someone else is by removing your own personal bias. It’s something I’ve done so much that it’s become a part of who I am. As a matter of fact, this was my highest scoring value at 100/100. Being empathic does not mean that I sacrifice my own beliefs. All that empathy asks of me is to simply listen, understand and accept. When two or more people truly understand and accept each other, it is the most beautiful, satisfying experience there is. This is what beautiful lasting relationships are made of. Wars can be quelled by mutual understanding. So, if it’s been difficult finding someone who knows how to listen or pay attention to you… if you want to learn how it’s done… or you are also an altruistic empath, welcome to your tribe!
Beauty & the Arts
I am absolutely a fiend of the finer things in life. This includes art, music, cuisine, fashion, accommodation and decor. But I also appreciate quirky, unique, vintage, unorthodox styles of all the above. I enjoy the beauty found in nature. I marvel at God’s handiwork. I’m amazed when the birds fly up to coop at sunset, or the sky rains liquid sunshine (rain while the sun is shining). You can’t tell me that this world isn’t TOTALLY enchanting. How can we live in such an amazing space but not feel inspired? One of my favourite personal mantras is “inspiration is everywhere!”. Just look around. Be mindfully present and take it all in. This world, this universe, its intricacies, the possibilities… it’s all so filling. On vacation, you can find me immersing myself in the local culture, eating local food or trying native delicacies and meeting new people. I speak Spanish and I would like to learn French. “Speaking” of which; Paris is my favourite city thus far. I love the charm. The architecture… The vibe… So romantic… So Rich! Definitely a stark comparison to my Caribbean sea side home. I cruised the Seine River, had my portrait painted by a street artist and thankfully was able to visit the Notre Dame Cathedral before the tragic fire in 2019.
Dear Universe: Please take me back!
Health
A new core value was introduced to me about three years ago. I don’t remember exactly what sparked it. It may have been a conversation I had with a good friend who is a health nerd. I started off curious about how eating brown rice and drinking tons of water must be. Then I slowly eased my way into other choices, such as eliminating processed meats and frozen vegetables. Eventually I stopped eating pork and red meat. Then the biggest transition came in April 2019 when I started my body building journey in a quest to gain at least 30 pounds of lean muscle. I’m up 7 pounds to date. But this venture called for even more drastic changes. Except on cheat days, I now only consume whole grain rice, pasta and bread; other complex carbs; only healthy fats; no sugar; no soda; no juice unless it’s natural without additives; most canned goods are a no go – except tuna and sardine; no going to bed unless my food is settled; no cake; no pastry; minimal alcohol; and no dairy.
All of this sounds pretty drastic, and I suppose if you’re just starting out it’s overwhelming to consider but I didn’t make all these changes at once. I grew into them. It also helps that I have a body goal that I can keep in my mind’s eye. Additionally, chronic gas and bloating that was my norm (for-like-ever) are no more! I now visit the gym every other day for about 45 mins if I’m efficient. I don’t travel without my gym gear or finding the nearest fitness centre. I also eat the same food when I’m away. No excuses. Physical fitness has become my lifestyle. You only get one body. That’s all you got until the wheels fall off. So the way I see it, is you can either take care of it or you can neglect it. The choice is yours. But I choose to age in reverse; to defy the chronic disease statistics; to decline a frequent flyer membership to the local hospital; to feel healthy; to feel fit and to live longer barring incident.
I take this vow a step further, by encouraging ALL my friends, relatives and virtually everyone I spend any intimate time with, to care for their temples. I’m pretty aggressive and I’ll put you on blast for drinking more coke than water, if I feel you’ll listen. Why risk taking insulin when you can cut your simple carb intake? Why take heart medication, when you can exercise and make better food choices? Why feel ok when you can feel GREAT? Why? Brace yourself. Here comes my aggressive health pitch.
If you’re here on this blog because you want to live “your best life”, that’s NOT gonna happen if you’re unwell, not energized, unfit, lazy or ignorant to what you’re are doing to your own temple. So in case you haven’t already:
WAKE UP!
Idealism
Something else that was brought to my attention is that I am more idealist than I am realist. I think I should really dive into this concept of being idealist so both you and I can grasp what it means. If it’s your first time hearing either term: an idealist is someone who dreams, creates, and in essence believes in endless possibilities; whereas a realist has a matter-of-fact view of the world and believes in absolute conclusions based on scientific evidence or belief systems. Each of us falls somewhere along the spectrum and I fall closer to the idealist end. A complete realist might listen to me speak and think my head is in the clouds. I do think some things are existential, such as time and the law; but I love a good mind-expanding conversation or experience. I do believe there are a thousand ways to do everything under the sun and we can each find our own way if we’d like… Or we can follow the way set before us. It’s really up to you. I’m constantly looking for new information to expand my mind because it makes me feel alive, elevates my perspective, improves my energy and attracts real opportunities!!! ß Catch that!
Here’s the thing. Had I been rigidly realist, my businesses would not exist… THIS BLOG would not exist! So you see, it pays to dream big.
Perfect segue into my next and final point.
Spirituality
Last but CERTAINLY not least, my faith has indubitably brought me blessing after blessing. My belief is that we are spiritual beings having a (super)natural experience. Everything we experience is as a result of our connection to each other and the celestial beings in this majestic universe. My higher power is God, who truly is the master of direction. I listen to him… intently. I’m never too busy to be quiet. It’s in the quiet moments that he speaks or gives directions. Have you ever been led to do or say something that turned out to be exactly what you needed to do or say in that moment? My Caribbean people say “A mind told me to xyz”. Others say “Something told me to xyz”. But can I offer to you, that your desires are known to the universe. They are known to God. And when you communicate these by thought or word or deed, the universe reciprocates. I have seen the evidence of faith manifesting my desires and I know that it works. I live according to the Law of Attraction, which states that you must first know what you’d like. Then think about it, visualize it, meditate on it, ask for it, write about it. Then you must have faith that it is possible, because everything is. Once you believe, and you take one step at a time, each next step will present itself in due course. You do not need to know what is next. It will come to you. That being said; trust and believe that this blog and all the wonderful things I now experience, as is a direct result of my obedience to God’s direction and unwavering faith in what others consider to be impossible.
So do you know who is conducting your locomotive?
If you don’t, here’s what I propose: Carve out 30 mins of your day today, or a day within the next seven days, where you can be alone. Find a comfortable spot where you can sit up and be alert. Turn on the type of music or sound that helps you to concentrate. If it’s silence, play that! I highly recommend you take the values test that I took at:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/personality/values-profile.
There are 202 questions related to your personal life and work. At the end you receive a summary of the findings by category and you may opt to pay $6.95 for the detailed report which lists all your values and describes your connection to each of them. Here you can unlock the other five categories of values for yourself and see where you rank on the continuum. You will also receive personalized advice for how to utilize your core values in personal life and work. [In case you are wondering: This is not a paid endorsement. I receive no financial benefits from recommending this test.]
Another way to find out what your core values are is to follow the steps outlined by Scott Jeffrey here. Scott’s method is free but will require you to roll up your sleeves and do the work yourself.
So hey, I know the choice is yours. You might decide that your life is too busy for this exercise to matter. You have it all under control, right?
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WRONG!
Until you discover who you really are, the train moves you, you don’t conduct the train. You’ll continue to invest time, energy and maybe even money in people and experiences that don’t align with your true being… your destiny. If you’re like me, and you’ve felt stifled or limited for some time, it may because you’ve invested in the wrong things. I was stuck because I thought I valued order and stability way more than I actually did. This caused me to invest heavily in a traditional job and live an awkwardly traditional life, when what I really needed was freedom and opportunities to be my creative self.
It took me 31 years to get here, on my own path of self-discovery; but you can re-direct the train and begin adding more value to your life today!
Go for it! I’m rooting for you.
Intentionally Yours!
Juanita Michelle
LMSW | Personal Mastery Coach | Lifestyle Blogger
Be Bold. Be Free. Be You. Period.
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